Overcoming Speaking Anxiety
We all get nervous. We all know that intense push-pull feeling of needing to be heard and not wanting attention.
But what we have to say matters, and so there’s no way around it: we need to overcome our nerves and communicate to our audiences.
Let’s dive in.
Whether you are asking your boss for buy-in, pitching a partnership to a stakeholder, or telling your mother that you won’t make it to Thanksgiving this year, speaking anxiety can be a major hurdle to landing your point. At Lighthouse Communications, we teach effective communication. Foundational to that is mastering the skills of speaking - including overcoming speaking anxiety.
First, consider what anxiety is.
Anxiety can be beneficial, a positive momentum that tells your body to be activated and match your energy level to an important situation. Anxiety can also be a barrier, a complex set of feelings, emotions, and situational context that can prevent you from communicating effectively.
Specific skills will help deal with both kinds of anxiety and equip you to say what you need to say and leave room for the feedback you need from your audience.
De-center yourself from your message. Prepare what you have to say that the message itself, the content, is what stands out. You are the messenger, sure, but what you have to say is the heart of the matter. Take some time ahead of the meeting or call to really craft your message so that it is relevant to your audience, clear, and on point.
Don’t strive to be comfortable; strive to be confident. Feeling comfy with public speaking or high-stakes 1:1s might never happen. Remember how that feeling of anxiety can be a positive one? It’s great to ride the wave of nervous energy to propel an important idea, but the sensation will be the opposite of comfy. However, that truth is one you can learn to feel comfortable with, especially when you strive to be confident. And do you know what will make for confident delivery? Having done the work of refining your content and knowing your message.
Remember that a conversation is always better than a performance. Your audience is comprised of people. People who have their own sets of anxieties, discomforts, and stakes for how this presentation goes. They want you to succeed, they want to hear what you have to say, and so they are paying attention to you. Power and positionality are intimidating, but this is where the conversation comes in. Make your message clear, and invite their feedback, questioning, and hole-poking as it may be. No project or proposal will go forward without these key conversation partners.
Visualize setbacks, visualize troubleshooting. Speaking of questioning and hole-poking, an under-practiced public speaker will almost always get thrown off their game by questions they can’t answer or angles they didn’t think about. And there is no way you can think of everything. We don’t know what we don’t know - which is why those audience members/conversation partners are so essential. Practice saying the words: “I don’t know. Let’s revisit that later when we can get that data.” and “Great question. Does anyone here know the answer?” The latter phrase will also reinforce that the whole audience matters and your objectives are collective ones.
All of these skills are ones that anyone can master, but having trusted teachers and support systems around you are just as important. For more communication tips, be sure to follow Lighthouse Communication on social media or get in touch to learn about custom teaching packages.
